More often than not, commitment to being a “truth-teller” without a commitment to humility, love, and empathy causes one to lose the very people they are trying to reach. In the current landscape of dialogue, particularly online, many people tend to talk at each other, rarely finding common ground. Put plainly, we love to be right, and we love when others think we are as well. Often, we prioritize the need to be right over the desire to communicate our ideas in a conversation with compromise and mutual respect. This posture elevates moral authority over human connection. In faith traditions in particular, we often let our differences become more significant than what should unify us. Convictions are good, needed, and sometimes right, but how we should express our convictions is something the Bible can teach us a lot about.
The concept of moralism is an interesting focal point in this conversation. A moralist does not care as much about making moral judgments or pursuing truth as they do about asserting moral authority, often without humility, empathy, or relational investment [1]. It should be stated that some things are simply true, and any effort to protect and defend truth is valuable. So, the critique is not that truth should be abandoned for the sake of appeasement. Rather, the burden is evaluating when, how, and to whom one should express their views and opinions. Philosopher Alfred Archer writes a very comprehensive piece examining the various ways in which moralizing can manifest itself [2]. For instance, we can be objectively correct in our moral critique of a person and still be misunderstood because we have not built a relationship with that person sufficient for our critique to be welcomed. At times, we may assign moral value to actions or behaviors that are inherently immoral. Other times, we may assign too much condemnation to an action that may be wrong but still does not deserve the level of moralizing scrutiny we give it. We often are correct in our convictions but wrong in our approach and build walls when our world desperately needs bridges. We can all fall victim to “othering” or moralizing tendencies that are so common in modern discourse across different belief systems, political parties, and ethnic groups.
We often are correct in our convictions but wrong in our approach and build walls when our world desperately needs bridges.
Taking care to balance truth and kindness is a difficult but worthy struggle. A helpful “self-check” can go like this: “Could I be wrong?” That question invites an initial pause. Then, “Does this person know they are in the wrong?” and “Is there a possibility that they are ignorant of their wrongdoing or have never been confronted with it?” That gives further pause, because this may impact the tone of one’s critique. Then, even if this person has heard this criticism before, “Do I have enough relational equity in this person’s life to bring this correction?” Bearing all of this in mind, beneficial conversations can grow out of thoughtful criticism when it comes from a place of kindness and understanding.
Now, there are certainly cases where, relational equity or not, a wrong must be addressed, especially in cases of objective injustice or evil. I want instead to focus on the general question “How do I speak truth?” The Bible provides a sound approach: with much grace and humility. This is the greatest act of love, to be able to identify a wrong and have enough restraint to see the personhood of the individual who has done the wrong. It is hard, and at times feels unfair, to love in this way, yet I would argue it invites a necessary tension we should feel as we deal with conflict and difficult people. It is not meant to absolve anyone of personal responsibility, but it protects us from being hypocritical and hypercritical. It reminds us that we go further with truth and grace together than with either one alone.
The Christian faith centers on the need for believers to turn away from sin and seek after righteousness, and then to call on others to do the same. The first step of this call to self reflection invites us to become aware of our own blind spots before looking for those of others [3]. This can be likened to the impact of the gift of salvation given to a believer. A Christian receives an undeserved gift in the form of grace because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. It is only because of grace and God’s mercy that one is saved. Because Christians have been shown grace and mercy, they are called to show grace and mercy to all people with humility. What a gift it is to slow down, meet people where they are, hear their story, and share truth from a place of love. It is exceedingly difficult to deny our own glory, ego, or need to “bring truth” and instead take a servant’s position; it is beautifully sacrificial to walk with someone, love them despite their shortcomings, and share truth from a place of genuine care for their soul. It requires self-denial to speak truth in love. In Christ, truth and love are never at odds. Based on the biblical definition of love, they cannot be.
One of the most familiar passages on love in the Bible is found in 1 Corinthians 13. I grew up hearing these words at weddings, where the instruction was clear: this is the way you should love. The text describes love as not only patient and kind, but as “rejoicing with the truth” [4], always protecting and always hoping. This love is far more than it seems reasonable to expect of anyone, yet it remains the standard. Only one person could love perfectly in this way. Jesus’ life and death serve as the picture of perfect love; self-sacrifice for the sake of the undeserving. Because we have been loved in this way, through Christ’s action on the cross, the Christian strives also to love like Christ did.
A heart posture of true Christian love reflects both truth and grace; it rejoices with the truth and bears all things. Earlier in that same chapter of 1 Corinthians, the Bible asserts that if a person does any good “spiritual” or “moral” thing without love, their actions are in vain. Without love, not only does such a person “gain nothing,” but they are nothing [4]. If the goal is to prove ourselves righteous for the sake of asserting self-attained piety, we have already discredited our own righteousness. As Christ did, we too must lay down our self-interest, take on the mantle of a servant, and love others by speaking truth with humility, compassion, and honesty. Without love, we indeed gain nothing.
By Brionne Harper, Contributor
Brionne Harper is a senior mechanical engineering major from Trinidad and Tobago. She loves being in nature, curating Spotify playlists, and long drives with great people and even greater food. She loves exploring ideas about faith and the world we live in through writing, and open and honest dialogue.
References
- Archer, A. (2017). The problem with moralism. Ratio, 31(4), 342–356. https://doi.org/10.1111/rati.12168
- Archer, A. (2017). The problem with moralism. Ratio, 31(4), 342–356. https://doi.org/10.1111/rati.12168
- Matthew 7:3–5, English Standard Version
- 1 Corinthians 13:2-3, English Standard Version